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When parents are not happy with a marriage

Question:

Dear Mufti Sahib, I have sent a proposal of marriage to a woman. I really like her due to her good manners and religiousness. However, my parents are not happy with this marriage, they have warned me that they will break ties and be displeased with me for the rest of my life. What is the religious guidance for me in this matter?

Answer:

All perfect praise is for Allah ﷻ, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah ﷻ, and that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is His Messenger.

Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet ﷺ said: “A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, noble ancestry, beauty and religion. Choose the religious woman lest your hand is stuck to dust (because of destitution).

This hadith emphasises the relationship a person has with Allah ﷻ as the ultimate quality one should seek in a spouse. Marrying such a person will be permissible and a person should also consider the following qualities as well. Finding someone of a good character, someone you believe that you can live a happy married life with, seeing the partner as being capable of being a caring parent to your future children, someone who will be able to look after their honour, wealth, and children in your absence. If a woman meets these criteria, then marrying her is not disobedience to your parents.

However, it is wajib for you to try your utmost best to win your parents over with kindness and wisdom. Not imposing your decision on them but slowly making them understand the benefit of such a marriage and the priority which the shari’ah has given to marrying a spouse who is sincere in their religiosity.

And Allah ﷻ knows best.

On behalf of the British Fatwa Council

Dr. Musharraf Hussain Al-Azhari

Mufti Dr. Hafiz M Munir Al-Azhari