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Maintaining family ties and avoiding the anger of one’s parents

Question:

What do the experts of shari’ah say regarding my situation?

I am a student and I am at a loss due to the disputes between my family members. This has affected me on a very personal level and is constantly on my mind such that I am considering to completely break ties with my father’s side of the family. We live on the same street but have stopped greeting each other, even on the days of Eid. I do feel in my heart sometimes that I should engage with them again, but a feeling of resentment arises within me. What should I do?

Answer:

A person must clearly differentiate between the following two things. Firstly, being good and respectful to your parents. Secondly, obeying them in those things which will incur the wrath of Allah ﷻ.

It is mentioned in the Holy Qur’an, “However, if they force you to associate something with Me of which you have no knowledge, then don’t obey them. Despite this care for them in this life. Follow the path of those who turn to Me, eventually, you will return to Me, and I shall inform you of what you did.” (Surah Luqman: 15)

The shari’ah has strongly encouraged us to maintain familial ties. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ mentioned, “Whoever desires that their wealth increases and their life is extended, then they should maintain familial ties.” (Sahih Al-Muslim) Children should try their best to not repeat any mistakes of their parents. Try your best to bring the families closer even if it is just by greeting them with salam.

There is no doubt, Allah ﷻ will reward you for your efforts. Allah ﷻ mentions, “So be mindful of Allah as much as you can.” (Surah Al-Taghabun:16)

And Allah ﷻ knows best.

This Fatwa is written by Dr. Hafiz Muhammad Munir Al-Azhari